Supporting Parents. Fostering Change.

Here’s The Thing That ‘Lasting Love’ Is Really About

New research suggests that seeing love as a journey, rather than as a union of soul mates, could help people in how they deal with relationship conflicts. Does this mindset start in Childhood? Jenny Anderson in her Motherlode blog thinks so:

“Kids who are told they are smart care more about performance goals and less about learning. Kids praised for their efforts believe that trying hard, not being smart, matters. These kids are ‘resilient’ and take more risks.”

I’ve seen this firsthand in my practice over the years. When you say to your child, “I know you worked hard to get that A. Great job” versus “You are so smart” your child sees the value in hard work. What does this have to do with lasting love?  People with a growth mindset are better equipped to put in hard work when things go wrong instead of just giving up.

For more on this research check out this article from The NY Times.

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