Supporting Parents. Fostering Change.

The Roller Coaster Ride to Fulfillment

I found this excerpt and think it really speaks to Girl Power! I am starting a new group for women that addresses issues like these and thought you would find this interesting.

Roller Coasters

Last weekend, I had a day where there was nothing on my family’s calendar. This never happens. There is always hockey, or rehearsals, or sunday school, or something. So that begged the question, what should I do? I immediately thought, I will get the grocery shopping out of the way, clean out the closet with all the shoes and coats and gloves, or plan the meals for the week. Even more fun, I could troll the yard scooping dog crap. Crazy times. But wait, since a glorious, shining day off only comes once in a blue moon, I paused before I reacted reflexively. What would I like┬áto do? Here is what I discovered; I have no idea.

There. I said it. I have spent so many years making sure everyone else has what they need, that I’m really not sure what I need for myself. Take roller coasters, for example. I used to ride them. Now I don’t. I think somewhere along the way, as the holder of everyone’s stuff, the world decided I was a sideline watcher. Maybe I am, maybe I’m not. That’s the thing, I’m just not sure. And while it would be a fun experiment to head to Busch Gardens and test my theory, I think the roller coaster question is just a tiny part of the overall conundrum. What is it that I want for myself? What fills me up and makes me feel joy?

I know I’m not alone in this. Many of my friends talk about the same kinds of issues. Sure, some of them have found fulfillment with things like yoga, gluten-free brownies, and having affairs, but I am not sure all of those are for me-certainly not gluten-free brownies!

I believe in therapy. As proof, I have been myself and currently work for a therapy practice. I don’t know about you, but the space inside my head can get pretty murky without the occasional spring cleaning. But I also believe that sometimes “thinking and talking” is not as effective as doing.

So I am going to start thinking about what’s out there that get’s me excited, other than having all the laundry for all 5 of my family members done at one time. I am also going to start some doing. Perhaps I’ll start with some mediation or some group work with other women like me. Using therapy as a springboard for action is one of my favorite combos. Going to get in there, flush out the feelings and make a plan. Sometimes seeing your feelings reflected in the faces of the other members is really powerful. I’ll make my own Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, or maybe since I’m older; Witches of Eastwick. Some of this feels like what friends are for, but being in a group where confidentiality is sacred and none of the members are at my bus stop, is totally different. It’s hard to have coffee with someone after you’ve expressed that their excessive kid bragging makes you feel like you want to lace their latte.

So that’s my first step. I’m open to suggestions. Any thoughts?

 

Do any of these feelings resonate with you or someone you know? You can find more information about my new Women’s group on this flyer or on the website.

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